Thursday, October 19, 2006


I finally have a reason to blog again. Unfortunately it's for a bad reason. I got a call at work today from my dad. He told me that they took my grandpa off of all the machines that he was connected to. So now, it's just a matter of waiting. It sucks to lose a loved one, and it's harder because he's not gone yet. He's still there, struggling, alive, but not really. Going to the hospital is rough, everyone's just...waiting. Every now and then he'll get congested and start to half-cough/weeze/gurgle and we get paniced because...we're not ready. It's hard to see a man who has been such an integral part of my life go through this. Grandma and him put me on the bus everyday. He took me back to the woods. He made bad jokes. He got his facts all wrong when retelling a story. Just last week I played Euchre with him. At least he won't be in pain anymore. I don't even know if he is in pain now. I just know it hurts to see him like this. I've never lost anyone this close to me before. My other grandpa was a more distant figure. I was younger when he died, and never got as close, and it was quick. This is hard. My poor mom.